Disney 2003

Day 1 - Friday 15th August

We promised ourselves that this time, for once, we wouldn't stay up till 1am finishing our packing. As always, there was always one more thing to do, and at about 1.20am….

Next morning we were up early, washed dressed and ready to go, and wondering if our lift would turn up on time. Lisa knocked on our back door at 8.15 precisely, right on time - which belied the fact that she had spent most of the previous evening driving round north New Jersey looking for husband Rob who was trying to make his way back from blacked-out Manhattan. A very late night, followed by her natural alarm clock (baby Chad) failing to go off, meant that she had risen, dressed, and raced to ours in only 10 minutes.

This was the first time we'd ever flown from Philadelphia, which has the status of a holiday airport. It has international flights, but it has an awful lot of flights to the Caribbean, as well as our holiday destination, Florida. We grabbed some breakfast, and settled down for our two hour holiday flight. It seemed strange to be planning a big two week holiday flight and not need our passports. Indeed, we passed through Orlando airport very simply, without even seeing an Immigration official.

Our experience with the hire car was uncharacteristically disappointing, especially for Hertz. Linda got all angsty about being in the 'slow' queue, we ended up pressured into buying an extra $150-worth of insurance, the 'complimentary' upgrade left us with a Chevrolet Cavalier (I'd be surprised if there was anything smaller) and then when we got to the car it was covered in scratches. Our efforts to get another upgrade (perhaps to the 'advanced micro compact') were to no avail.

We left the airport, scouting for a nearby filling station to help us avoid the $5 a gallon refill charge on our return, and set off for the villa. The directions were fairly straightforward, but involved a lot of left and right turns through residential streets named Prairie Point Rd, Cherokee Drive and the like - after all, we were staying at Indian Point. We later found out that right out of our drive and then first left took us to Route 192, one of the main resort arteries, and to become a major source of nutrition and amusement.

The house itself was a revelation.At first glance beautifully appointed, clean, modern and very comfortable, our original feelings of relief and satisfaction gave way to an amusing wonderment - we had apparently wandered on to the set of Dynasty without noticing. Huge gilt frame pictures, plastic ivy draped from the rafters, an entire wall of mirrors in the dining area, and the most amazing 'palm tree' reading lamp, where each person sitting on the corner unit corduroy settee (with multiple integral recliners and drink cooler) could have their own 'frond lamp'. We realized we had packed the wrong clothes, leaving the shoulder pad dresses and safari suits back in New Jersey.

We set out to investigate the local Walmart, stocking the fridge and awaiting the arrival of the Keytes (Andy, Suzanne, Jonathon (8) and Stephanie (6)) . We promised ourselves that unlike previous holidays, we would try to avoid spending every day shopping for food (By Tuesday - Day 5, we'd combined for 3 Walmarts and a Target - not good). Once the Keytes arrived and settled in - inevitably jetlagged and body clocks five hours behind, we headed out for a first American meal at Denny's before retiring to recharge our batteries for the challenges ahead.

Saturday 16th August

We promised ourselves we would ease into our Orlando experience, and looked forward to a simple day on Saturday. We breakfasted, and went to play Crazy Golf at the Congo Falls, which also had real live alligators (desperately in need of a rest from all these annoying tourists who insisted on feeding them) as well as, rather alarmingly, a snake which Tom found slithering through the undergrowth.

After first stopping in at Walmart (!) and then a brief snack, we headed for Downtown Disney, arriving in the midst of a torrential thunderstorm (again, the first of a recurring pattern). Downtown Disney is the most naked attempt by the Disney organization to extract as much money from tourists as possible, this time through a variety of merchandising outlets. The range of stuff on offer is very impressive, and high quality, so you feel less resentful about the naked marketing of the Disney Magic.

We bought a few souvenirs and gifts, and dropped in to the most impressive Lego store we'd ever seen, including the two stores at the parks in California and Windsor. What an original idea - actually having staff building Lego models in the store, and getting the kids to join in !

Disney Downtown also contains DisneyQuest, and the first time we got to use our park tickets. DisneyQuest is like an interactive video park, with rides and games based on computer technology. We ate burgers, etc in the café, and visited Alien Invasion, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Animation School. For the first time, (but not the last) we were heard to say "we'll have to come back to this one".

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Alien Invasion
• Tom - Pirates of the Caribbean
• Suzanne - Cartoon Drawing
• Stephanie - Cartoon Drawing
• Andy - Alien Invasion
• Chris - Pirates of the Caribbean
• Linda - Cartoon Drawing

Sunday 17th August

For our first full park adventure we rose early, breakfasted, and headed for Disney's Animal Kingdom. We were working on some advice which told us which days were the best to visit each park, based on visitor numbers. Apparently at the weekends, the water parks were full of locals, whilst most out-of-state visitors head for the Magic Kingdom as soon as possible. Encouragingly, this advice proved well-founded, and we managed to get to most of the attractions without too much waiting.

Top draw at Animal Kingdom is the Kilimanjaro Safari, which we headed for first. We climbed onto large buses, and were driven round a realistic African trail, sighting many animals roaming wild, and buying into the story of 'Big Red' and 'Little Red', two elephants being tracked by poachers. We chased the poachers into the ranger's trap, and Big Red was saved by the local vet. After walking through the Pangani Jungle Trail, some of us went on the Kali River Falls, which gave us our first brush with FastPass.

The line for the ride said 70 minutes wait, while the FastPass distribution (move to the head of line without waiting, using your special pass) told us to return in two hours. Decision - take a FastPass for this, and deny yourself another one until this expires, or risk the line. As it happened, the line was actually less than ten minutes, time enough for two circuits, but we realized there is obviously some thought and tactics required to get the most out of the FastPass concept.

While the Keytes did a second circuit of Kali Falls (and Chris and Thomas tried to dry out from their first), we headed for Dino-Land, which has less of the natural wildlife-type attractions, and more of the traditional theme park rides.

It's actually in the style of a fifties-funfair, with a dinosaur theme, and one big ride called the Primeval Whirl, for which Chris and Tom queued for about 1 hour 40 minutes, for the two minute ride. After that we headed for Dinosaur, a semi-simulator ride (featuring Phylidda Rachid and the guy from Veronica's Closet) which we hoaxed Linda into joining us. 90 seconds of twists and turns in the dark, and some scary dinosaur animatronics - the best ride so far ! We had just enough time to complete the ride and race over to the other side of the park for the much-recommended Lion King show.

This was our first exposure to the grandiose production values of Disney, and was a wonderful, colourful, musical show with large animatronic models of Simba, Timon and other animals, and a cast of Africans, birds, acrobatic monkeys and others. We persuaded the Keytes to try out Dinosaur, then headed home for a swim and a quiet evening meal at home.

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Dinosaur
• Tom - Dinosaur
• Suzanne - It's Tough to be a Bug
• Stephie - Kali River Falls
• Andy - Kali River Falls
• Chris - Dinosaur
• Linda - Lion King Show

Monday 18th Aug

Monday was Disney/MGM Studios, so we tried to rise early and arrive early. We've also started to develop those tricks and techniques for getting the best out of the rides with large queues. One which didn't work was to go off early and get breakfast at the park.

Unfortunately enthusiasm overcame us, and on arriving, we headed straight for the Rock n' RollerCoaster to get Fast Path tickets, the Keytes went on the Star tours ride because there was no queue, Chris and Tom queued for 45 minutes to get on The Tower of Terror, The Commissary stopped serving breakfast at 10am so when we met up no-one had eaten breakfast.

Disney/MGM has a few great rides, but is very focused on the history of Disney films. There are some spectacular rides like Twister (which Chris missed out on) and Tower of Terror but there are also a lot of semi-educational rides like a Drew Carey exhibit on sound in movies, a special effects backlot tour, and things on Walt Disney in particular and Animation in general.

Linda tried relentlessly to get her photo taken with any stray Disney character we encountered, but inevitably there was a long queue, and before long Tigger would disappear into the distance, led by the arm by his minder - after all, there is a schedule to keep. We got through lots of rides at Disney/MGM - Linda went on the Star Tours ride based on Star Wars, and we all enjoyed the Indiana Jones Stunt show.

Dinner promised more than it offered, as we sat in the Sci-Fi Dine-In, an indoor drive in movie. The booths were in the shape of cars, the scenery looked like a genuine drive-in and the giant screen showed old classic sci-fi movies, Tom and Jerry cartoons and the American equivalent of those old 'Interlude' films - shame the food was so ordinary, and the torrential downpour as we left the restaurant meant we were all soaked through by the time we reached the cars.

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Rock & RollerCoaster
• Tom - Rock & RollerCoaster
• Suzanne - Muppets 3D Show
• Stephanie - Star Tours
• Andy - Rock & RollerCoaster
• Chris - Rock & RollerCoaster
• Linda - Little Mermaid show/Disney characters
• (least favourite ? - Feeling sick after Star Tours!)

Tuesday 19th August

By Tuesday, we had discovered two more eternal truths about Theme Park life.

1. The first rest day cannot come too soon. The kids pleaded for a quiet day by the pool, and we all readily agreed.

2. It rains in August in Florida. Between Saturday and Tuesday, 8in of rain fell in Central Florida, and we soaked most of it up with our shoes.

To be truthful, spending a day by the pool was a blessed relief, and suited the adults as much as the children. In fact it was almost a wrench to drag ourselves away to Downtown Disney and dinner. As we set out, we saw the familiar 'thunderstorm three-step' begin. First, impossibly dark black clouds roll in from almost nowhere, secondly the trees and bushes start to stir as the storm winds start breezing through - shortly afterwards the heavens open, and rain falls in long, heavy threads.

Not for the first time, the sheets of rain fell across our windscreen as we tried to navigate our way to our next destination. Even with an almost new rental car (admittedly with a broken rear indicator) the windscreen wipers could not clear the screen quick enough to travel at more than 10 miles per hour, desperately looking for the correct turning and trying not to drive into the car in front.

We fumbled our way to Downtown Disney, and after waiting in our cars for a couple of minutes for the rain to ease (pah!), we set out for Planet Hollywood. 4 minutes and 300 yards later, we arrived completely sodden, kagoules having failed their jobs miserably. Once in the restaurant, we tried to dry off in the bathroom, stuffing our shoes with paper towels, before eating a very nice but tourist-priced meal. We rounded off the evening with another slightly damp visit to DisneyQuest. This time Jonathon and Andy tried out Pirates of the Caribbean.

Wednesday 20th August

Stephie's 7th Birthday ! And she chose Epcot for the big day out.

This was one for which we really set out with a battle campaign. We arrived as early as possible (well, at least it was before 10am) and struck out for Mission:Space and Test Track. We all queued for Mission:Space (except Linda) and did the ride first, while Linda went off to obtain FastPass tickets for Test Track, another ride we were targetting.

Mission:Space had only opened a few weeks before, in fact the week that David was here in early August - he had recommended it very highly, with a vague warning about centrifugal forces. The ride was fantastic, with a very realistic feeling of blasting off for outer space, and landing on Mars - obviously too realistic for Suzanne, who was…well, rather indisposed.

Before returning to Test Track in the afternoon, we had a leisurely walk around the World Showcase. We stopped in at the American Adventure show, a whirlwind tour around the highlights of American history, and Linda and I both had a very strange sense of pride and belonging. It felt almost a watershed moment about our life in America - until of course we carried on to Great Britain.

Ignoring the signpost for 'Welsh Gifts', we headed straight for the 'Rose and Crown', and the promise of Harry Ramsden's fish and chips. Scornfully looking on at the sad English tourists who couldn't resist a pint of bitter and home cooking, Chris was served by a cheerful (and genuine) Cockney girl called Tara, and felt like excusing himself from the other tourists - "We haven't had genuine fish and chips for two years - honestly !!"

We finished Epcot with a trip round Spaceship Earth, a noble and worthy journey through history expressing the value of communication down the ages, through Greek plays, the invention of printing, satellite communication and the power of the internet to bring people together.

The ride is now sponsored by AT&T, unsurprisingly, and equally unsurprisingly was unanimously voted as 'the most boring 20 minutes of my life' by the under 12's in our party.

Dinner was once again at Denny's, by choice of Stephanie as her birthday treat. However we found a slightly nicer one than the first night, and watched the 7 year old birthday girl choose and tuck into a t-bone steak !

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Mission: Space
• Tom - Test Track
• Suzanne - Honey I Shrunk the Audience, Shopping in China
• Stephanie - Mission: Space
• Andy - Mission: Space
• Chris - Mission: Space
• Linda - Seeing characters (Again !)

Thursday 21st August

Today we tried to fit in a wind-down day, and headed for Disney's Typhoon Lagoon waterpark. Although the park was very busy, there was plenty of room to spread out and feel like you were on a real beach. The wave lagoon was fantastic, with 6 foot waves rolling at you across a huge bowl of water.

There were also a range of tube and body slides, from the ubiquitous and gentle Lazy River, to the kind of mad suicidal ride that is so popular with Thomas. Humunga Kowabunge involves climbing to the top of a 50' mountain, and sliding vertically down a chute. Chris accompanied Thomas two or three times, but by the end of the visit Chris was black and blue from the braking effect of the water and let Thomas climb the mountain and descend alone. Never again, Chris said (sad, misguided fool…).

Fun was interrupted early by the ever-present thunderstorm which inevitably emptied the lagoon and slides. Whilst the Keyte's headed off to save something of the day, the Willimer's stuck around to try and ride out the storm. Within about 25 minutes, the storm had moved on, along with about 90% of the visitors. The result ? No lines anywhere, uninterrupted access to every slide, chute and food stall, and another hour of good entertainment. Restaurant fatigue guided us towards eating in, and on arriving home we found a take-out pizza menu stuck in the door, which we took to be an omen. When our order arrived, it was delivered by a kindly grey-haired man from the north of England. We asked him how he'd managed to keep the pizza warm after coming all that way !

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Wave Lagoon
• Tom - Humunga Kowabunga
• Suzanne - Lazy River
• Stephanie - Lazy River
• Andy - None! (Bah Humbug !)
• Chris - Wave Lagoon
• Linda - Family Raft

Friday 22nd August <p>Friday was Universal Day, and our recent casual approach to vacationing came back to haunt us. We arrived late, without a plan, and got caught up in the queues and activities near the park entrance. The Keyte's queued unsuccessfully for Shrek 4-D, which had a 75 minute line. We waited in line for almost an hour for the mediocre Jimmy Neutron ride (Andy Keyte's Park Life; Rule No.3 - Always head for the back of the park, and work your way forward. Most people start queueing near the park entrance, so the queues are that much longer).

However we did manage to get through the main attractions, including Men in Black and Back to the Future, whilst everyone enjoyed Jaws. Thomas was now determined to see the movie. We also decided that the Wild West Stunt Show was slightly better than the Indiana Jones show at Disney/MGM, mainly because of the personal violence involved. The day at Universal ended as the sky turned black, and we followed some other Orlando advice, and drove towards the next attraction while the rain fell, the theory being that as the rain stops, you arrive at your destination to find no queues. This rather depends on the rain actually stopping. After sitting in the cars for about 10 minutes, we set off on foot in the torrential rain to head for Planet Hollywood. Despite the fact it was a three minute walk, we all arrived soaked from top to toe, and squirmed damply and uncomfortably in our seats while we ate. The washroom paper towels in our shoes distracted only slightly from the best meal of the holiday so far.

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Wild West Show/Shrek
• Tom - Terminator
• Suzanne - ET/Shrek
• Stephanie - Wild West Show/Shrek
• Andy - Men in Black/Back to the Future/Shrek
• Chris - Terminator
• Linda - ET/Wild West Show (She didn't do much else!)

Saturday 23rd August

Since we had no park visit planned today, we were able to rise in a leisurely fashion, and head out for breakfast at Shoney's on Rte 192. A breakfast buffet is a truly wonderful thing, since for a fixed (and usually moderate) price you can fill your plate as many times as you want with all that patently unhealthy breakfast food which you would normally feel so guilty about eating (if you had the time and inclination to actually prepare in the first place). Bacon, three types of egg, sausage, pancakes, waffles, fresh fruit steeped in sugary syrup, toast, muffins and pastries…if only we could drag ourselves away.

The day was actually designed around a trip to Tampa. We headed off to see Linda's Auntie June, who we'd last seen when Thomas was less than a year old. While we were always impressed with her energy and the active life she led, she was now a lot frailer, and moved round her apartment using a wheelchair for support. She still had her wonderfully optimistic outlook on life, and enjoyed the marvelous views from her balcony across the waterfront.

We met up with the Keyte's at the Tropicana Dome Stadium to watch the Tampa Bay Devil Rays play the Cleveland Indians. In an exciting baseball match (the first both Andy and I had seen indoors) Tampa won by 7-5. Everyone seemed to enjoy the whole baseball experience - colour, noise, music, excitement and, probably most importantly, food. A good sign for Daddy as Thomas grows up. Did I mention rain? The Keyte's left Kissimmee in a torrential downpour that reduced visibility to 10 yards, which was also waiting for us as we returned later that night.

Sunday 24th August

After enjoying a fair degree of good-natured ribbing (really, that's all it was, honest !!) Sunday was Linda's favourite day of the holiday as we set off for THE MAGIC KINGDOM ! Of course, we had to apply our park expertise and get ourselves tickets and spaces on line for the best rides, which today was probably Space Mountain (a roller coaster inside a building which winds in and out of the adjoining tracks, with multiple near misses with other trucks).

Linda was in heaven to catch a glimpse of a Disney character and maybe snatch a photo or two.

Thomas and Chris made very noble attempts to make sure this was 'Mummy's Day' and traipsed around behind as Linda led us from photo opportunity to photo opportunity. There was a growing suspicion that Linda had planned the entire vacation to provide material for her new hobby of scrapbooking.

And then, disaster ! Snatching a quick moment of light relief, Thomas and Chris jumped on the Goofy Barnstormer coaster, only for Thomas to lose his Gap baseball cap as we raced down the first slope. Surprisingly, Thomas was devastated by this, and huge tears fell. We were told there was no way to try and retrieve it until the ride closed that evening, but Thomas was so upset we resolved to do just that. We met up with Andy and Suzanne near Thunder Mountain, and after they did the ride and headed home, Thomas and Chris stayed to ride Thunder Mountain and - you guessed it - get soaked as the rain started to fall as we were on the ride.

In several minds as to what to do for the rest of the day, we decided to see whether we could eat at the park, and went into the Crystal Palace, which was close to closing. Almost accidentally, we had walked into Linda's Nirvana, as we helped ourselves to the fantastic buffet food, surrounded by a multitude of Disney characters. The food was great, the service was excellent, our waiter was a scream and earned a huge tip, and best of all, Linda filled two rolls of film with pictures of Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore. To cap a perfect day, Chris retrieved the beloved baseball cap, and we headed home knowing that the vacation was complete for Linda.

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Thunder Mountain
• Tom - Thunder Mountain/Space Mountain
• Suzanne - Buzz Lightyear
• Stephanie - Thunder Mountain
• Andy - Space Mountain
• Chris - Space Mountain
• Linda - Character Dinner

Monday 25th August

We decided to split up today, as we wanted to visit the other water park, and the Keyte's had other plans. So we headed off to Blizzard Beach, which we knew would be a bit more grown up than Typhoon Lagoon with more emphasis on the rides. It was almost a bit more crowded, and less relaxing. Linda waited patiently in the sun while Thomas and Daddy queued endlessly for a couple of rides. We first did the straight rollercoaster slide, a 40 minute line for 15 seconds of fun, then we headed up again to something called Summit Plummet.

If Humunga Kowabunga had been intimidating, then this was simply scary. Blizzard Beach is based on the theme of a resort that was hit by a freak snowstorm, and became a ski resort. Once the snow left, the toboggan runs and ski slopes built on Mount Gushmore were turned into water slides to rescue the resort business. Mount Gushmore is a 90 foot high mountain with a 30 foot high ski jump tower at its peak. After queueing for about an hour and forty minutes, we arrived at the top of the ski jump, and looked over. While Chris' stomach was turning repeated flips at the thought of launching himself vertically down this chute at 60 miles an hour, Thomas could hardly be kept back.

The ascent had included some of the best views across the greater Orlando area - we could see all the Disney Parks from the summit - surprisingly successful attempts to spot Linda in the people-ants far below, and the quiz as to what the rather stately grey-haired woman in front of us was going to do when she reached the top. Contrary to my belief that she would escort her daughter up and then carefully descend the stairs, she took off her shoes and socks, stuffed them in her shorts pocket, rolled up the sleeves on her white shirt, carefully folded her straw hat and stuffed it inside her shirt and launched herself from the top.

Thomas was next, and had to be almost held back, unaware that there was actually a 120' vertical drop next to him. He excitedly flew down the chute, following instructions to get out of the path as soon as he got down. Then it was Chris' turn. The drop was much higher than Humunga Kowabunga, the speed much faster, the tension greater, and the pain ten-fold ! Never again, and this time I meant it !

Much like every other day, festivities came to an end as the heavens opened - at least this time we anticipated it, and got back to the car before we got wet, heading back to Downtown Disney once again. Dinner was at the Rainforest Café, and Linda had the run of the Christmas Shop, the Scrapbook Shop, and we chased down some special pins for Mrs. Smith and Ryan.

To round off the day, we met the Keytes at MGM-Disney to catch the Fantasmic show. This was highly recommended by all the guide books, along with the entreaty to get their early. We were in the stadium and seated more than an hour before it began, and watched as the stadium filled and every seat was taken. The show was indeed spectacular, with scenes from Disney movies projected onto giant fountains, a lake alternatively covered with flame and carrying character-filled boats, as Mickey bravely fought the giant green dragon. Fantastic !

Tuesday 26th August

Islands of Adventure at Universal Studio promised to be one of the best parks, but Thomas was very tired, it was perhaps the hottest day of the week, and the day dragged somewhat.

Taking our lesson to heart, Chris and Tom headed straight for the uninhabited back of the park, to re-live the Jurassic Park adventure they had in California. After taking the ride twice and getting just as soaked, the consensus was that the California ride just shaded it. The T-Rex was hardly scary at all !

After a 80 minute wait for a 60-second Pterodactyl ride, we walked back through a marvelously realized Seussland, and ate Green Eggs and Ham.

Later we did perhaps what was unanimously the best ride of the week, Spiderman. Thomas was annoyed that he wasn't tall enough to ride the Hulk, and was insistent that Chris not ride without him. All the kids were beginning to show signs of fatigue, and if truth be told, so were the adults. We had to keep reminding ourselves that while we were tired after walking 3 or 4 miles round a theme park, it was immeasurably harder for those little 6 year old legs. Later we had a terrific meal at Tony Roma's.

Best Rides of the Day

• Jon - Spiderman/Sinbad
• Tom - Spiderman
• Suzanne - Spiderman
• Stephanie - Spiderman/Sinbad
• Andy - Spiderman
• Chris - Spiderman

Wednesday 27th August

Holiday fatigue was setting in with a vengeance. Having visited all the parks we wanted to at least once, no-one could face the thought of getting up earlier and getting out to a park to beat the lines. So we didn't. Besides, we had a lovely pool - who needed to go anywhere ? We spent the morning at home, and then in the afternoon, Andy and Chris took the kids to play miniature golf, while Linda and Suzanne got some shopping in. The boys swung by the mall to pick up the girls in the middle of another torrential thunderstorm.

We had dinner at the Olive Garden, but by now Thomas was really fading, and Chris had to take him home from the restaurant while the others finished their meal and went back to Epcot for the firework display.

Thursday 28th August

The last full day arrived, and with it - apathy. A day in the pool, a fruitless visit to an outlet mall, shopping at Downtown Disney once again, and a very pleasant final meal altogether at the Rainforest Café, before one final visit to Disney Quest.

As a really decadent treat (and probably because we grown-ups felt a bit guilty about not trying harder on the last day) we let the kids swim in the pool AFTER we got home, splashing around in the floodlit pool until after 9.30pm.

Tomorrow held the promise of a short hop back to New Jersey (compared to the Keyte's prospect of 7 hours in economy on the red-eye back to Heathrow) to be picked up at Philly airport by a limo (our friend Lisa who'd promised to pick us up couldn't make it, so arranged this instead).

Today we proved the theory held by most people that far from being relaxing, a trip to Disney often takes a lot of stamina - and to quote Walt Disney (probably) - We were pooped !!